“Okay, before we get going, one rule. No fake scaring one another.”
“Yeah, of course not. Definitely not,” Mary’s voice sounded thin as she uttered her agreement.
It was only 9:00 at night, but the woods was pitch black and silent except for the rumbling of a nearby waterfall. Oddly, its tempo did little to ease my mind. Mary and I were off to see the Nichols Falls glowworm cave, a wonderfully interesting natural phenomena that could only be seen at night. Squinting at the inky outlines of the forest ahead of me, I clutched my flashlight tighter, my knuckles white.
“Wait, one more thing.” I pulled my lanyard over my head, tucking it carefully into my down jacket to stifle the familiar clink of keys against my emergency hiking whistle. “If you want to turn on some music, that might be nice.”
I exhaled slowly, waiting for Mary’s music to fill the air before stepping forward into the dark. The notes echoed weakly off of the trees, sounding tinny and insubstantial in the midst of the imposing stillness of the forest.
As we made our way forwards, my flashlight highlighted the spindly, twisted branches that reached towards us like bony fingers. Shadows leapt at our feet hungrily; each time my beam dissolved one, ten more appeared. The path curved this way and that, winding deeper and deeper into the woods as we crawled slowly upwards. Suddenly, we reached a fork in the road; three paths diverged ahead of us. Before arbitrarily choosing the center path, I placed a fern on the trail we had just come from. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than choosing a route that would take us far into the woods on the way home.
“For the way back,” I said to Mary, feeling very much like Hansel and Gretel. At least we weren’t using breadcrumbs that were going to get eaten by animals. But before I felt satisfied with my impromptu marker, a perturbing thought flitted through my head: there could be a single fern lying on any one of these paths, ready to lead us astray. I plucked another fern and placed it behind the first. There. That looked more purposeful.
We kept moving. Time seemed to stretch on an on. Another fork in the road. Another purposeful arrangement of ferns. The prospect that something else might be lurking in these woods was not a comforting possibility, and despite my best efforts, I could not shake the idea that something was out there waiting for us. Although the trek was only supposed to take seven minutes, we’d been walking for well over ten. When we reached our third fork in the road, we came abruptly to a halt.
“Didn’t we just go in a circle?” Mary’s question took the words straight out of my mouth. Our ferns were gone. Someone had moved them.
A million and a half thoughts flooded through my head. We weren’t alone. There was probably a crazy person just a few feet away from us. What if we were going to die out here, in the prime of our lives? Or even worse, what if we were kidnapped and locked in someone’s basement for years on end? I can hardly sit still for two hours; how could I be expected to be tied up in a basement, etching the number of days of our captivity into the side of a toothbrush? I didn’t even have my toothbrush with me. The glowworm caves were seeming like a sillier idea with each passing second.
“Would you like to go back?” I could feel my heart about to fly out of my chest.
“Yes!” Mary cried enthusiastically in a tone that very much expressed my own sentiments.
“Okay, let’s go.” The words fell out of my mouth in a rush as I spun around, making a beeline back towards where we came. We passed by our other markers, not caring that in actuality, no one had touched our ferns.
When we finally turned the corner and saw our little white Nissan parked across the street, I nearly started sprinting. Once we’d slammed our car doors shut, I pressed on the gas, bolting out of there like a bat out of hell.
“We are NEVER doing that again,” I exclaimed, a complete ball of nervous energy. “I have never been so scared in my entire life!”
“I thought I was going to get murdered!” Mary declared.
“Oh my god, my parents would have killed me. We should go to Rob Roy’s. And then just crawl into Jes’ bed and try to forget this ever happened.” Normally I use any excuse to go get Rob Roy’s, but on this occasion it was actually warranted. How could I take Mary home after scaring the living crap out of her without so much as a consolatory ice cream?
Sitting in Jes’ bed a half hour later, savoring our delicious dessert, we admitted that we probably would have been fine had we kept going. However, I wasn’t willing to stake my life on the prospect that we “‘probably’ would have been fine,” and given the chance, I would never again venture into the woods of Nichols Falls without an entourage of at least eight burly men. Even if we’d made it to the caves, I would have been too freaked out to fully enjoy it anyways. Regardless, it certainly made for a good story. Or, at the very least, it made for a good excuse to get some ice cream.